Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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