Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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