i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
