It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
