Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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