shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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