I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize