there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
