so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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