I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
