I bet he comes in French.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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