i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
