I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I love you. Go after that dick
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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