Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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