Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I puked a lego.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize