i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
