fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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