this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
