A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
