Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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