remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
