Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
soo... how was my night?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
