yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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