I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize
