just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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