i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I did not marry a roomba.
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