Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
