i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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