hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
