My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
