but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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