If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
