What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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