Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
