You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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