This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
