like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
