Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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