your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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