So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
