My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We left the knife in your bed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i think my cat just said my name.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize