getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
