Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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