I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize