I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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