I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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