god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
