when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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