Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
