My first STD was from a foam party
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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