Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
