she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dicks are not precious.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
