Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
