stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
