Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
