You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
