like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
