Fuck appropriateness.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize