how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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