omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
