Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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