Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
