I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
